They haue found out new mines of new fashions. There is nothing more formall in these dayes then Deformitie it selfe.
(snip)
As for the humorous they haue beene alredie brought to the stage, where they haue plaide their partes, Euerie man in his humour.
B. Riche
Barnabe Rich
FAVLTES FAVLTS, And nothing else but FAVLTES.
AT LONDON Printed for Ieffrey Chorleton, and are to be sold at the great North doore of Paules Church. 1606.
(snip)
A Figge for all that Enuie can inuent,
On fearefull steps true honour neuer treades,
I come not to implore Lucina's helpe,
To bring my Muse a bed with fantasies,
Nor steale Iiestes in cloudes to make you game,
Nor do I seeke by gawdes to purchase fame.
I wade into the world as one vnknowne;
Yong in disguise, and yet in yeares more ripe:
I can discerne an Ape, though clad in silke,
And temper wit sometimes to serue a turne.
To what imprission I haue wrought it now,
The wise may iudge, for fooles I care not how.
(snip)
The world is growne to that passe, that we can laugh at our owne imperfections in another, but we cannot see them in our selues. It should seeme we are better sighted a farre off, then we be nigh at hand: for at home we be as blind as Moales, but abroad we haue as many eyes as Argus. The sum of all is, there is nothing more displeasing vnto vs, then to be told of our owne faults: and nothing better pleasing again, then to heare of other mens: The world is growne to this passe, and he that seeketh not to please the world, shall neuer thriue in the world, and he that studieth to please all, spendeth his time in vaine.
And although I haue not endeuoured my selfe in framing an Idea of Vtopian perfections; yet I haue aduentured to graspe at abuse, but vnder generalities in such sort, as I haue not aymed at any one man particularly, neither to open his shame, nor yet to blazon his infamie.
Note in marg: Please all please none. If any man shall seeke to wrest my generalities to any priuate application, they should doe mee wrong, when I haue not sought so much as to blast any mans good name; I haue shadowed follies, but yet vnder couert tearmes, and I haue ouerpassed many things in silence, because the world is giuen to see too much.
Note in marg: If men will misconster, the fault is theirs. We imitate the Disciples of Theodorus, who complained that his Schollers were accustomed (how plainely soeuer he spoke) yet still to misconster him, and howe expressely soeuer he could write, they would yet wrest his sense and meaning to their owne expositions. There is nothing well said, that is not rightly vnderstood; neither is there anie thing well done, that is wrongfully interpreted.
Note in marg: A gauld Iade. If anie man vpon a guiltie conscience should find himselfe agreeued, the fault is not mine, mee thinkes it were better for him to amend his misse, then to publish his shame.
Note in marg: They haue found out new mines of new fashions. There is nothing more formall in these dayes then Deformitie it selfe. If I should then begin to write, according to the time, I should onely write of new fashions, and of new follies that are now altogether in fashion, whereof there are such aboundant store, that I thinke they haue got the Philosophers stone to multiplie, there is such a dayly multiplicitie both of follies, and fashions.
In diebus illis, Poets and Painters, were priuiledged to faine whatsoeuer themselues listed: but now, both Poet and Painter, if he be not the Tailors Ape, I will not giue him a single halfepenie for his worke: for he that should either write or paint, if it be not fitte in the new fashion, he may go scrape for commendation, nay they will mocke at him, and hisse at his conceit.
Note in marg: Preuention. But amongst an infinite number of faults, I am not yet resolued with which of them I should beginne, nor what text I might first take in hand, and it may be, some will therfore taxe me to haue but little witte: and no force, let them not spare, I will bee afore-hand with some of them, there is a figure with the Logitians, they call it Prolepsis, or Preuention, and I learned it long agoe, of the Boy that taught his mother to call whoore first. And I will now sitte in iudgement of all those that my memorie can readily produce, and I doubt not, but to bee afore hande with some of them.
Note in marg: Iestmonger. As for the humorous they haue beene alredie brought to the stage, where they haue plaide their partes, Euerie man in his humour.
(snip)
But see here a companie now presenting themselues, that I cannot say are affected, but I thinke are rather infected with too much courtesie; you
shall know them by their salutations. For *first with the kisse on the hand*, the bodie shall be bowed downe to the ground: then the armes shall bee cast out, like one that were dauncing the old Antike, not a word but, at your seruice, at your commaund, at your pleasure: this olde protestation, Yours, in the way of honestie, is little cared for: euerie Gull was woont to haue it at his tongues end, but now it is forgotten. And these Flowres of courtesie, as they are full of affectation, so they are no lesse formall in their speeches, full of fustian phrases, many times deliuering such sentences as doe bewray and lay open their maisters ignorance: and they are so frequent with the kisse on the hand, that a word shall not passe their mouthes, till they haue clapt their fingers ouer their lippes. But he that is so full of creeping, and crowching, either hee meanes not well, or his wit will not serue him to meane well, for this common affabilitie, dooth lightly bring with it an ill intent, and but according to the Prouerbe, Much courtesie, much craft.
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Harvey, Speculum Tuscanismi
Since Galatea came in, and Tuscanism gan usurp,
Vanity above all: villainy next her, stateliness Empress
No man but minion, stout, lout, plain, swain, quoth a Lording:
No words but valorous, no works but womanish only.
For life Magnificoes, not a beck but glorious in show,
In deed most frivolous, not a look but Tuscanish always.
His cringing side neck, eyes glancing, fisnamy smirking,
With FOREFINGER KISS, and brave embrace to the footward.
Othello: Act 2, Scene 1
IAGO [Aside.]
167 He takes her by the palm: ay, well said,
168 whisper: with as little a web as this will I
169 ensnare as great a fly as Cassio. Ay, smile upon
170 her, do; I will gyve thee in thine own courtship.
171 You say true; 'tis so, indeed: if such tricks as
172 these strip you out of your lieutenantry, it had
173 been better you had not KISSED your three FINGERS so
174 oft, which now again you are most apt to play the
175 sir in. Very good; well kissed! an excellent
176 courtesy! 'tis so, indeed. Yet again your fingers
177 to your lips? would they were CLYSTER-pipes for your sake!
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Rich, (con't)
Heere comes a spruce fellow now, and if hee be not alied to the Fantasticke, yet I am sure the foole and he are so neare a kinne, that they can not marrie, without a Licence from the Pope. Would ye knowe who it is? Mary sir, it is a Traveller, not of those sort that endeuor their trauels, but of purpose to growe into the hieway of Experience, for the better seruice of their Prince or Country: but of those whipsters, that hauing spent the greatest part of their patrimony in prodigality, wil giue out the rest of their stocke, to be paid two or three for one, vpon their returne from Rome, from Venice, from Constantinople, or some other appoynted place. These fellowes in their iourneying doe so empty themselues of the little witte they carryed out, that they can make no better return than their mindes full fraught with farre fetcht follies, and their heades ouer burthened with too many outlandish vanities; if at his returne he hath but some few foolish Phrases in the French, Spanish, or Italian language, with the Baselos manos, the Ducke, the Mump, and the Shrugge, it is enough; for they take much trauell vpon them, to see fashions, but none at all, to learne vertue: This is a strange kinde of travell, to make profession, to loose their credite at home, to learne follies abroade. What trust can there be in a traueller, who is stil watching for a winde, whose feete are euer fleeting, whose faith plighted on the shoare, is turned to periurie when they hoyse saile?
Note in marg: Trauailers may well speake of wonders. Travellers are priuileged to lie, and at their returne, if they doe hitte into a company that neuer trauelled towards the South Pole, beyond Gads hill, you shall heare them speake of wonders, his talke shall be of Lawes, and Customs, Prouinciall, and Politique. What ciuilitie doth abound in the partes where he hath beene, hee will tell how conuersant he hath beene with great Princes, and how prouident he hath found them in gouerning their estates; & almost at euery pause that he hath drawen his speach to a full period, the next straine shall beginne with this Duke, or that Prince: So that Dukes and Princes are as rife at his tongues end, as, What lacke you sir? or, What would you haue bought? is to a prentise of Cheapeside.
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Arundel and Howard similarly proclaim Oxford's untruthfulness at table , his "ordenarye use to lie for the whetstone in the worst degree' - the whetstone being a traditional prize in a lying contest. "Let these examples plede', writes Arundel:
- that the cobblers wyves of Millaine, are more richlie dressed everie workeinge daye then the Qwene on Christmas daye
- that but for the comminge of Beningefeld (Thomas Bedingfield) and the Duke of Alvaes (Ferdinand de Toledo's ) perswation rather to omitted the service then forsake his cuntrie he had surpriseid Bommle witness my Lord Howard of Effinhham, Lord Henry Francis Southwell Walter Ralegh and my self.
- that yf my Lord (Charles? Henry?) Howard had not in the Quenes name called him a waye by letter, he had bin *governer of Millayne* (MILAN),
Henry Howard Walter Ralegh Francis Southwell Harrye Burroughe Robinson.
- that he was in the waye to genoa with 3000 horsees a 10000 foteman to take it for the Kinge of Spayne by Don Iones (John's) direction when the Cardinall Moron toke upp the matter
- that he was proffered ten thousand powndes a yere by the Pope and more by Kinge Phillipp at NAPALES.
- That the cownetess of Mirondola came fiftie miles to lie with him for loves
- That the Qwene of Navare sent a messenger to desire him to speke with him in her chamber
- That St Markes churche is paveid at Venice with diamowntes and rubies
- That a merchant in Geane (Genoa) hathe a Mantell of a chimney of more price then all the treasure of the Towre
- That he *red the reathorick lecter publikelie* in sermies (? sermons) preached at Strosbreke (Strasbourg)
Here is a potpourri: denigrations of the Queen and her wealth; boasts of military prowess thwarted by the Queen; TRAVELLERS' tales; sexual braggadocio; and boasts of intellectual prowess. (_Monstrous Adversary_ Alan H. Nelson)
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Barnabe Rich, (con't)...
We haue in these dayes varietie of Scutchins, sundrie sorts of Armes, multiplicitie of dignities and honourable titles, but true Nobilitie is it that springeth from Vertue.
Salust writing to Cicero, vpbraided him to be discended from a base kinde of people, but himselfe was extracted from a noble progenie: to whome Cicero made answer, that Salust indeede was discended of noble rase, but he was the first that had debased the Nobilitie of his house. And for himselfe he was discended (indeed) from a people of obscure condition, but yet he was the first Gentleman of his stocke.
There is nothing to counterpeise the ballance of a noble name, but how many little worthy persons haue there beene in times past, that woulde faine haue gone currant for six shillings eight pence; yet if they had beene brought to the ballance, they would haue weighed too light by a great deale more than the common allowance of two graines, but if they had bin tried by the touch, we might well haue said, All is not golde that glisters.
(Note in marg: That greatnes to be commended that consisteth in goodnesse). The title of Nobilitie to a good man is of great excellencie; but to an ill man, of no lesse infamie.
It is likely that good should come of good, and vertue is most succeeding in noble blood, and the worthinesse of honourable ancestors craueth a reuerend regard to be had in their posteritie.
Honourable Nobilitie is fittest to counsaile kings, and to take vpon them the great affairs of the state· Our Noble men are inflamed with the desire of glorie and renowne, and the inferiour sort doe thinke themselues most happie and blessed, when they are gouerned by the wisedome and vertue of Noble personages, that commonly manage their authoritie with magnificence, for as it is witnessed in the Prouerbs, Note in marg: Prou. 29. Where righteous men are in authoritie, the people reioyce: but where the wicked beare rule, the people sigh.
Note in marg: Nobilitie fittest to counsel kings. Honourable Nobilitie is then most fit to counsell a king, and the care and studie of good Counsailors is still to endeuour those things that shall concerne the honour of God, the preseruation of the Kings royall person, and the furtheraunce of the good and benefite of the common-wealth: and in the middest of their most weighty affaires, not to leane too much to the pollicies of worldly wicked men, that they impugne the wisedome and pollicie ordayned and decreed by the Almightie himselfe.
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Squared out his plays by the rule of his own wit - self-love
